Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Illusions

Our Ferris is two months old.
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Which means two months ago...
THIS
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photo by Melanie Rose
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photo by Melanie Rose
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photo by Melanie Rose
And two months before that....
THIS
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photos by Melanie Rose

AND NOW ...
Ferris is already so much stronger and interactive than the baby we just brought home (2 short months ago!) At his checkup our pediatrician exclaimed, "See how high he holds his head up? That's a 4 month move!" 
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Ferris will have to get used to the weight of his big brain!
I'm in the minority of moms, but I loved the first month- the month his nights were days and days were nights, the month he squinted in confusion at his aliveness, the month he was my little birdie. Over the past month, his confusion turned to recognition, the squint transformed into a curious gaze, and the primal connection we started out with has turned to love. 

Airplanes with mama
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Isn't it cute that he still sucks on his arm like the 1 week photo?
 Even when he gets a little fussy at night, he's so cute. When we swaddle him, he smiles, as if to thank us for getting his spastic limbs under control. Then in the morning, he stretches and smiles again when we help him finish busting outta the joint!
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Rare tears
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Two people who can barely draw a stick figure made this baby. If that's not a conclusive indicator that we don't have full control over our lives, I don't know what is. The process of becoming a parent has really pounded that lesson into my head. We try to convince ourselves that our lives are really ours. That we've earned the good things in our lives, that the differences in luck are a manifestation of karma. So many turns in my life have been so much better than I could've planned for myself... but it's still difficult to accept that I'm not really in control of my good fortune. That when I look to make sure he's breathing, there's nothing I'm doing to make it so. I can only be thankful.

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Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Middle of month 2 (already!?)

Well, it seems as though Ferris has quickly transformed from a newborn into a full fledged baby. And we've transformed into parents, although it's still too new to "automatically" think of ourselves as such. For my part, this has been accompanied by overwhelming pangs of nostalgia. Every moment feels so big and each happy day feels bittersweet.

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Extra Bittersweet = Newman tried to commit suicide and jump out the window when I took this picture!

We are left with the option of staying in our small apartment or hanging out in the backyard. Luckily, we have a pretty badass backyard!

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I love seeing Nick and Ferris together for a million reasons. I hold F all the time, so of course it's nice to give my shoulders a break. But it's also funny how Ferris seems to shrink when I hand him over to Nick. I get used to the size of his face, but when Nick is holding him he suddenly appears to be so tiny and fragile and extra adorable. Nick comes up with all sorts of little games for him or funny things to say.

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The how long till baby falls over game

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The sticking tongues out game

Also, when Nick holds him, I can see his tufts of hair in the back. I call his hair "heaven on a stick." The back is so thick and soft and wispy. I smell it and rub my face in it and form it into little mohawk peaks. As  you can see, the transition from bald to hairy is this random triangle shape in the middle of his noggin.

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I usually just give lots of kisses and say, "hi, hi, hello" like I (apparently) did when he was born. Ferris has so much fun with Nick, and so much fun being alive in general. Every day I learn a little more about life by watching Ferris discover his.

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And now, a word from Ferris. (Yes, little babbles that just started popping up every once in awhile- he really gets goin about a minute in!)


Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Business in the front, party in the back

Things I Can Do 
by Ferris T. Caligiuri

I can celebrate my one month birthday.
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I can spend quiet time with adults - at picnics, happy hours, nice restaurants, and even at the movie theater! I may have to reconsider my generosity.
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I can hold my head up. There are so many interesting things to observe.
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I can pull big fingers right where they need to be. No pacifier for me, I'm eating all organic.
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I can smile even if I'm not sleeping!
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I can pee radioactive diapers. I'm like a superhero.
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I can listen to stories.

I can get a front row seat to the fireworks show on the Hudson River without damaging my hearing. (Terry wristbands and a headband covered me up!)


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I can socialize with visitors.
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I can write blog entries. 
 Peace.
-F

*Title in honor of my baby mullet. Ah - wait for it - dorable.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Our Park

Ferris is three weeks old today. The old cliche is true: time flies when you're having fun! I love his squawks, squeaks, yawns, stretches, cries, smell, hair, back fuzz, startle reflex, impatient breathing, flailing limbs, crossed eyes, sleepy smiles, eyelashes, hiccups, spit bubbles and surely there's more I'm neglecting to list. A 3 week present for me- I tried on my prepreg jeans (you're not supposed to do this!!) and they fit. Oh, snap.

We just finished a little stop motion video that we've been working on for the past nine months. Nick and I adore it and hope you enjoy it too! It's about as good as you can expect out of a project by two people who are good at math! It was so fun to finish it, but a little sad that such a big "to do" is crossed off and all of the mysteries I once mulled over have been solved.


Lots of celebrating- Nick's first father's day and our 6th anniversary over the weekend!
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I've spent just about every day at Central Park. Sometimes the ball fields or pickup basketball or the Great Lawn or meeting a little Dutch baby friend. Ferris sleeps so well when I take him in the stroller; it's the one certainty in his tiny world. He's a little like the garden gnome in Amelie that travels all over, his sleep face popping up in random places.

A new tree planting in the park: new tree, new baby! The last picture is on one of the engraved benches and says "How perfect is this, how lucky are we." Officially my favorite bench. I love to read them as I pass and sit on good ones. We were daydreaming about having one engraved for Ferris, but a quick little search revealed that it's $25,000 (!!!!)
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Sometimes the walk to the park is just as interesting as the park itself. How many infants get to meet Heidi Klum?
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With a former colleague and his new baby at the Central Park Boathouse
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His first bath, only one of us cried. Not Ferris.
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Yawny faces, love!
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And I leave you with one last video from this week. I can't possibly find the stamina to keep this level of documentation up for long!

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Sleep

Sleep is the theme of the day. The first couple of days, Ferris woke up and needed to eat from 2-6 a.m. (at least!) I sat at 4 a.m. in my hospital bed smiling down at his screaming little face. I was just so happy to see him and so happy at how he appeared in the world. Now that he's home, he's a little more unpredictable. Two days of late nights, followed by two nights of sleeping from midnight-5 and 5:30-9 (heaven!) and most recently, falling asleep in his bouncy chair at 9 p.m., which sets him for a 1 a.m. wake up. Yay for Conan! And Conan reruns!

Photos and videos from last week (Ferris at 9 days old)... no surprise that we're running on a delay!
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Nap faces, so in love!


Monday, June 6, 2011

Ferris

Our boy is here! Ferris Theo Caligiuri was born June 1 at 8:32 a.m., measuring 7 lb. 4 oz. and 19 in.

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So tiny, even though he arrived 5 days late; I guess he just needed some extra time to cook. There are so many different birth stories, and you never know which one has your name on it. The abbreviated public blog appropriate version of ours: Nick sweetly told our families "Erica kicked giving birth's ass!" I did! My water broke around midnight, and after 8 hours in the hospital and a mere 8 minutes of pushing, he was here! The time flew by, it was unbelievable how fast midnight turned into Wednesday morning. They put him on my chest, and he didn't look anything like I expected. It's so funny how that one split second clears up all the wondering and waiting about who your baby will be. It's too much for one little second to bear. The doctor asked who we thought he looked like: Nick said, "Erica" and I said, "A random old man." After further deliberation, I think he looks like my brother and Nick thinks he looks like his brother. How about I post 800 pictures so you can decide for yourself?! 

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6 hours old
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In the hospital, he looks like a little elf in the sweater my grandma made for him
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Meeting Newman, who jumped back after he realized that Ferris can move

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First day home (Friday-2 days old), still has moments of confusion about being on the outside

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One of my favorites

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Frog legs

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Adoration

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BUT I DON'T WANNA GO TO A STATE SCHOOL!

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Batman likes to lick his feet

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5 days old (today!)

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So flexible!

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We came home on Friday, and have been having such a great time hibernating with Ferris. Nick is such a a great daddy, which is unbelievable for a guy who had barely held a baby before. I am doing great- I made cupcakes, painted my nails, and we've taken him on little walks for the past few days. He's only 5 days old but already the time is passing too quickly and I get teary about silly things like cutting off his hospital band, or putting away his first hat that was covered in gunk and blood. I wish I could hit rewind and do it all over again and again and again.